News Thread

So that isn't what sex is like? Oh my, I thought I was finally ready but now I'm not so sure

no! and i made my boyfriend watch crossroads over and over and over again,in the hope that he'd finally get what sex was like but he just wasn't picking it up! so in the end i was forced to just face facts: britney is a liar. a liar and a thief.

That reminds me of the day my cousin was told that there are no prom in french high schools. She was strongly disappointed.

had britney lied to her to?

i cant think of anything i'd have hated more than a prom.

You have them to? How aweful!

What's yours like?

i dont know, i didnt actually go 'cos i left school and went to a college which didnt have one. i think not many english schools have one, and the ones that do have one, only have one 'cos they saw it in american films. my brother went to one though, he said it was shit.

I had one. It WAS shit.

aww, did you get all dressed up and have a lady on your arm?

Tell us about it SK!

Do you have to go? i would't have.

Spectral Knight wrote:

I had one. It WAS shit.

I had one, I went half way between leathered and legless, then left early to see "The Clone Roses"

I went to an all-boys school. Half of us were made to go in drag.

i wouldnt have either SR. people keep trying to make me go to uni balls too, fuck that.

Yes, and no. I had a very pissed friend on my arm trying to keep him from falling over on the way into the venue. He then proceeded to spike his own drinks all night, the silly boy. Went round someone's massive house at the end of the night, where he pulled out a rubber and began to play with it. Daft bugger. Someone told me he chucked up fruit punch-esque vom all over his rented tux in the morning.

I didn't go to any of my uni balls. I thought getting laced to fuck in a near-empty union bar with a dozen or so of us a lot more fun than multiple silly formal events that would've resulted in my chucking up over a rented suit, spending far too much money, and having to speak to people I've never really liked much anyways.

what, he sat there playing with a condom?

most of my friends go to sussex uni anyway, and i go to brighton so my uni ball would be shit.

Yes. Apparently thought he'd get lucky that night. Getting blind drunk sort of meant he didn't (which is a surprise, since I pull mostly when both me and the lady concerned are arse-faced), he thought he'd inform everyone of his intentions, and ripped it open to establish that a small unopened condom wrapper did indeed contain a condom. Very funny, and guarenteed no lady wanted near him for the rest of the night/next morning.

hahaha, gutted. playing with condoms is dangerous business though. last summer, i was flat-sitting for my sister, who happens to live right above the high street. me and my friend got back from a night out and thought it would be hilarious to fill condoms up with water and drop them onto drunken passers by below. which it was, to be fair. til my sister came home and found a bin FULL of condom wrappers, and I had to endure about a month of 'areyoubacktogetherwithdarrenareyoubacktogetherwithdarrenareyoubacktogetherwithdarren' from both her and my mum, because the idea that someone my age would find enjoyment in throwing condoms at people was apparently ridiculous.

How many johnnies did you have to fill a full bloody bin to the brim? Did you raid a sexual health clinic or something, or just spend a SHITLOAD in the club toilets stacking up for filled-up-condom-bombing. Throwing condoms around IS always funny.

I was told a story by the bird that one of her mates and her fella have a bin-liner they throw ALL of their used rubbers in, and wait to get shot of them in one go when the parents go away, because they don't want her parents to know they're shagging in the family house. Isn't that just RANK?

well it wasnt full to the brim, i might have exaggerated a little bit. there was a whole packet or so in there i think.

ewwwww yeah that is rank! proper rank. i bet that proper stinks.

Fuckpencil wrote:

I went to an all-boys school. Half of us were made to go in drag.

This explains an awful lot.

ignitableduck wrote:

well it wasnt full to the brim, i might have exaggerated a little bit. there was a whole packet or so in there i think.

ewwwww yeah that is rank! proper rank. i bet that proper stinks.

Innit though. Hadn't even thought of the smell, but yeah, it'd be hideous. I mean, surely the very, very slight embarassment of binnin' them in with the normal rubbish would be preferable to keeping a horde of spunk filled ones in a bin-liner, FFS. I worry about some people, I really do.

have they never heard of a toilet bowl and flush system?

Apparently not. My brain was turned completely inside out by that revelation that I didn't even stop to ask the missus why they just didn't flush 'em down the U-bend, I'll be honest.

i remember when my friend lost her virginity, her boyfriend just threw the condom out of the window into the driveway. and then he tried to turn the light on and it was actually an alarm from when her nan used to live with them, in case she needed some help in the night. so my friends mum went barrelling in to find a half naked sweaty boy in the house. she threw him out, and made him pick up the condom take it with him.

how i laughed.

HAHA!

Brilliant story of agressive parenting! She'd take no prisoners. What was your friend saying during all this, when her mum's going on the rampage, while she's sat like a lemon being naked, equally sweaty and probably a bit bloody?