Tired Hippos guide to...the christmas schedules.

A new gimmick, bound to fail as it'll be seen as self promotion...which it sorta is.

Saturdayt 20th Dec.
Programme - Pretty shit day, but come dine with me at christmas, will please tink and is usually a good watch, 6:55 ch4.
Film - V for Vendetta is the first of the big xmas premiersm oddly its on bbc2 at 10:25

Sunday 21st Dec.
Programme - Again, a shit day, I'll go with The sunday night christmas project 9:00 on 4, simply to avoid recommending repeats of top gear and HIGNFY.
Film - Face/off 11:20 bbc1 cause its OTT and silly fun.

Monday 22nd Dec.
Programme - QI christmas special on bbc1 at 9:00
Film - The brothers grimm at 8:30 is probably worth a watch if only to see Ledger not being a good actor....

Tuesday 23rd Dec.
Programme - Mock the week christmas special will do, better than alan carrs ding dong thats for sure...9:45 bbc2
Film - Con air, one of the best action movies ever made 10:35 bbc1

Wednesday 24th Dec.
Programme - HIGNFY Xmas special....alas its presented by Alexander Armstrong, 9:30 bbc1
Film - Pretty shit considering its christmas eve...Toy story 2 will have to do, 6:05 bbc1

Thursday 25th Dec.
Programme - Some people will disagree but I'm going with wallace and gromit: a matter of loaf and death, 8:30 bbc1
Film - And more of the above with Wallace and Gromit: The curse of the wererabbit 4:30 bbc1

Friday 26th Dec.
Programme - OH SHIT, AN ITV PROGRAMME Harry Hills christmas burp, 7:00 itv
Film - ITV wins the above however because bbc1 is so film heavy today with 3 big premiers, I'll go with POTC2 at 8:30 on bbc1, althoug madagascar might be more your thing.

Saturday 27th Dec.
Programme - A bbc2 uni challenge night gives us comic relief does university challenge...that'll have to do 9:00 bbc2
Film - Starter for ten 9:30 bbc2 sounds interesting

Sunday 28th Dec.
Programme - The big fat quiz of the year is on ch4 at 9:00, even though it goes on for far too long.
Film - Christ....I'll...OH WAIT, howls moving castle is on bbc2 at 10:05 in the morning, thought I'd have to recommend daredevil then, phew.

Monday 29th Dec.
Programme - 2008 at the movies at 11:20 on bbc1, although I REALLY want to recommend "Tony robinson and the...Blitz witch" for obvious reasons.
Film - Bit easier today since they've bunged Superman returns at 8:30 on bbc1

Tuesday 30th Dec.
Programme - A brand new shooting stars! FUCK YEAH 10:00 bbc2
Film - The worlds fastest indian 5:00 bbc2 will kill some time

Wednesday 31st Dec.
Programme - Choose your pick from the new year programmes, or go get drunk and collapse in your own vomit.
Film - Meet the fockers 9:00 bbc1, it'll do...blah.

Thursday 1st Jan.
Programme - Dear me...its a repeat city today, and for that ITV can win for an amazing second time with the Krypton factor at 7:30 which will probably suckadick.
Film - Shrek 2 can have it 5:15 bbc1, cause I'm not recommending fantastic 4.

And there you go...boy did I regret doing THAT by the time I got to christmas eve...

i'm very forgiving of Terry Gilliam when he's "on an off day" but even i have to stand up and say don't bother with The Brothers Grimm.

also, what's wrong with Alexander Armstrong? eh? EH?

He's shit and always presents the worst HIGNFY of each series.

He's just phones it in most of the time.

You've left out all the best stuff. The Big Heat, Gilda, Citizen Kane, Crooked House, four (count 'em) Joan Hickson Miss Marples, a new version of The 39 Steps, Sweet and Lowdown, Blackadder Rides Again, Screenwipe Review of the Year.

Screenwipe Review of The Year

Me and the brother were talking about Christmas Come Dine With Me this morning.

Well for a start fucky I was sticking to the 5 main channels.

And the remake of the 39 steps will be utter shite.

Also blackadder rides again will be shite because its basically a big fuck off DVD extra.

Only a matter of time

You should have your own column in the Radio Times, Hipplethwaite. The 1976 issue.

I've just realised.....tink and fucky would make a lovely couple.

....no.

You've both got a bygone era vibe to you.

You could both sit and sip tea while listening to the radio.

Don't be silly.

it's called the wireless, you fool.

I'm sorry

You could both sit and talk about how the country will recover after the war....

the hot topic is the establishment of the NHS. how marvellous.

Free cough syrup for all!

tv is rubbish spend your time wisely ( go to the pub and plot world domination instead)

I never go out over Christmas. It's dumb.

What does fuckpencil want for christmas?

I'd like a lot of non-material stuff.

No clothes then?

i bought this last week

I'd like not to feel stifled.