News Thread

Scotch 'miserable', warn boffins

In other news, some guy in my village called Will has died of a horse to the head. When I expressed confusion as to who the guy was, my mother reassured me that I knew him, as he was 'quite thin' and 'always waved'. That cleared eveything up.

And finally:



US film star Bobcat Gol Brendan Fraser charms fans in Sydney at the Australian premiere of Mummy Tomb of the Dragon Emperor - the latest instalment in the Mummy series of adventure movies.

A horse to the head?

LOL. Is that what's on his death certificate? You should go to his funeral and make lots of really crap horse jokes. Like when someone asked how you knew him, you say you were Neigh-bours.

Yup, apparently no-one's quite sure what happened, even though they found him in a field, dead, with a hoof-shaped imprint on his head. They think it may have been a heart attack.

That is fantastic. You just don't get stories like that in the outskirts of London. Everyone is either a stab victim, a gunshot victim, or a rape and strangle victim. That or cancer or other long-winded shit that's a bit dull.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/entertainment/newsid_7583000/7583731.stm

Why?

Because they're scraping the bottom of the ideas barrel?

I mean maestro.....what prat thought of that.

That's one I didn't even know existed until I stumbled upon it half-drunk the other night. I was too far gone to get angry and switch channels. But then Bradley Walsh came on and that got me moving pretty sharpish.

Maybe they should do one called 'celebs go to war' where they have to serve in the front lines in the middle east.

Now I would certainly watch that.

Didn't they already do that with Ross Kemp?

Fantastic news!!!!

For people who love terrible video game adaptations on the big screen, or Brett Ratner.

Hippo'll be especially pleased about that last little bit at the bottom... I think Hippo likes invisible shoulder-bunnies of War.

*giggles*

LOL.

Tortoise Adopts Baby Hippo
by Animal Activism, Jan. 8, 2005

A baby hippopotamus,
swept into the Indian Ocean by the tsunami, is finally coming out of
his shell thanks to the love of a 120-year-old tortoise. Owen, a 300kg,
one-year-old hippo, was swept down the Sabaki River, into the ocean
and then back to shore when the giant waves struck the Kenyan coast.


Owen the baby hippo stares
adoringly at his new mom

The dehydrated
hippo was found by wildlife rangers and taken to the Haller Park animal
facility in the port city of Mombasa.

Pining for
his lost mother, Owen quickly befriended a giant male Aldabran tortoise
named Mzee - Swahili for "old man".

"When
we released Owen into the enclosure, he lumbered to the tortoise which
has a dark grey colour similar to grown up hippos,"

Sabine Baer,
rehabilitation and ecosystems manager at the park, told Reuters on Thursday.

Haller Park
ecologist Paula Kahumbu said the pair were now inseparable.

"After
it was swept and lost its mother, the hippo was traumatised. It had
to look for something to be a surrogate mother.

Fortunately,
it landed on the tortoise and established a strong bond. They swim,
eat and sleep together," the ecologist added.

"The
hippo follows the tortoise exactly the way it follows its mother. If
somebody approaches the tortoise, the hippo becomes aggressive, as if
protecting its biological mother," Kahumbu added.

"The
hippo was left at a very tender age. Hippos are social animals that
like to stay with their mothers for four years."

She said the
hippo's chances of survival in another herd were very slim, predicting
that a dominant male would have killed him.
Officials
are hopeful Owen will befriend a female hippo called Cleo, also a resident
at the park.

Parrotface wrote:

Tortoise Adopts Baby Hippo
by Animal Activism, Jan. 8, 2005

A baby hippopotamus,
swept into the Indian Ocean by the tsunami, is finally coming out of
his shell thanks to the love of a 120-year-old tortoise. Owen, a 300kg,
one-year-old hippo, was swept down the Sabaki River, into the ocean
and then back to shore when the giant waves struck the Kenyan coast.


Owen the baby hippo stares
adoringly at his new mom

The dehydrated
hippo was found by wildlife rangers and taken to the Haller Park animal
facility in the port city of Mombasa.

Pining for
his lost mother, Owen quickly befriended a giant male Aldabran tortoise
named Mzee - Swahili for "old man".

"When
we released Owen into the enclosure, he lumbered to the tortoise which
has a dark grey colour similar to grown up hippos,"

Sabine Baer,
rehabilitation and ecosystems manager at the park, told Reuters on Thursday.

Haller Park
ecologist Paula Kahumbu said the pair were now inseparable.

"After
it was swept and lost its mother, the hippo was traumatised. It had
to look for something to be a surrogate mother.

Fortunately,
it landed on the tortoise and established a strong bond. They swim,
eat and sleep together," the ecologist added.

"The
hippo follows the tortoise exactly the way it follows its mother. If
somebody approaches the tortoise, the hippo becomes aggressive, as if
protecting its biological mother," Kahumbu added.

"The
hippo was left at a very tender age. Hippos are social animals that
like to stay with their mothers for four years."

She said the
hippo's chances of survival in another herd were very slim, predicting
that a dominant male would have killed him.
Officials
are hopeful Owen will befriend a female hippo called Cleo, also a resident
at the park.

2005....way to be cutting edge, queen fail.

Where does it state that the news has to be up to date?

well, its more 'olds' if its not..

True. or just old News. I never understood why they called it old news though. Bit of an oxymoron that one.

It gets better.

Not only does the big man himself pick him up at the airport, but he takes him to our training ground and has a full medical all without the player's club's permission.

We're so gonna get fucked by the FA on this one.

your not wrong!

why would anyone do this?