I've been trying to open a pack of peanut m&m's for the past 5 minutes

You pubbing it or got some in the house?

I fancy a beer, wine with my lunch has given me a thirst for more booze.

Well you're missing a great story!

A guy came to the shop yesterday, he wanted to buy a transparent dummy.

He wanted to make an aquarium out of it.

Thats a pretty cool idea, are you going to sell him one?

I've got some in the house!! About 14 cans, to be precise. If anyone's expecting me to put trousers on today, they can fuck off.

Tell me about the aquarium man.

my ex introduced me to an american sweet with peanut butter in it a couple of months ago? i'd never had them before. they were awesome.

reeses pieces. AWESOME.

I didn't put any trousers on today yet and I've been into town for a mothers day meal.

i just did! The aquarium dummy was the story!

i found it funny, in a silence of the lambs kind of way.

You know, the idea of a person with fish in it reminds me of that horrendous song by that guy who I think was something to do with Limp Bizkit, DJ Binoculars or something, where he says 'I swim through your veins like a fish in the sea'. I think it's meant to be romantic but it's just skin-crawling and disturbing.

ah no, i don't like it, it's disgusting.

It would look cool if he put pirahnas in it and fed them cuts of bloody meat.

Speaking of Limp Bizkit, i saw posters in the underground for a few concerts this summer.

I saw a pic of fred durst on a gossip website the other day, he has a big beard and stuff.

I looked again and its not a big beard, just a grandad style one with grey in it.

Are you going?

I just found out that the guy I was talking about was called Uncle Kracker. When did he stop calling himself DJ Binoculars? I'm gonna establish myself as a solo artist called Auntie Nigger and try and do a duet with him. It will be about love being like tuna churning about in your stomach.

He disgusts me too, he's a bit of a pig.

I remember doing an impression of Fred Durst on a bus once, and some drunk guy ROFLing at the ingenuity of it all. I think my song was about how much he hated his mum cos she got him the wrong colour bag for school.

i encourage you bryn, besides colin and i could manage the fan club.

Auntie Nigger is a fucking great band name, although it could mean Ollie would turn up at your gigs expecting to see Anti Nigger.

i thought you you'd say you made an impression of him by making a sextape.

With Britney Spears.

Hair Britney or Bald Britney?

I sort of wish I made a sextape. Just to prove to everyone I'm not a virgin. COS I'M NOT, ALRIGHT???????????

Well, we all know she's bald in one area all the time.

i could never make a sextape. You really have to feel good about yourself to see you in the nip doing stuff. Eww.

Scarlet Rope wrote:

Hair Britney or Bald Britney?

Depends where you're looking! Eh! Eh! Eh!?